Student Quote of the Week: Don’t Eat the Orange Ones


Student: “My friend told me that some ladybugs are actually poisonous.”

Me: “Oh really?”

Student: “Yeah. The red and black ones are okay. But the orange and black ones are poisonous. So you shouldn’t eat those ones.”

Me: “Aw, really? Well, alright…I guess I won’t be eating the orange ones then.”

There go my dinner plans.

Student Quote of the Week (Trauma by Horse)


When a perfectly innocent conversation with your piano student, about THEORY, mind you, suddenly takes a turn into PG-13 level inappropriate subject matter, and you’re left alternating between utter shock and uncontrollable laughter…

Me: “Look! On this page of theory homework you get to write your own song about a Pegasus! That’s cool!”

Student: “I don’t want to write about a Pegasus. I saw a horse once, and it was horrible. I definitely didn’t like it. It was a boy horse, so I saw his (*whispering*) you-know-what….It was so gross!! EW!!! I never want to see a boy again!”

Me: (*through tears of laughter*) “I’m sorry. That does sound awful. You don’t have to write about a Pegasus then.”

Student Quote of the Week: Invincible


Student: *Plays her major scale with no mistakes* “Yes!! I’m invincible!”

*Starts the chord progression, and plays a wrong chord*

Me: “So, you’re almost invincible.”

Student Quote of the Week: Minor Scales


Our conversation after the student played his five-finger scales:

Me: “So, have you noticed that all your scales so far kind of sound the same?”

Student: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, that’s because they all use the exact same pattern of steps. That pattern is called ‘major.’ Major scales sound sort of happy, don’t they? But listen to what happens if I play the same position and change just the third note.”

*Plays D minor five-finger scale*

Me: “That’s called ‘minor’ position. It sounds a little different, doesn’t it? What sort of mood do you think minor sounds like?”

Student: “Evil.”


Not exactly what I was going for, but it cracked me up all the same.

Student Quote of the Week: Hair


“Hermione’s hair goes from really poofy in the first movie, to straighter and straighter in each movie.”

“Well, sometimes our hair changes as we get older. When I was your age, I didn’t have curly hair. But now look at it! It’s very curly.”

*Eyes widen in shock* “WHAT?? That’s so weird. My mom says my hair is turning brown. But I don’t want it to! Brown hair will make me look old!”

“Hang on a minute–are you saying that look old because my hair’s brown??”

*scoff* “No!! I’m talking about me. I would look old with brown hair, not you!”

“Oh, OK. That’s alright then I guess.”

Student Quote of the Week: Coyote Poop


“Today we went on a field trip!”

“Ooh, fun! Where did you go?”

“The outdoor learning center. We saw some poop there!”

“Eew!”

“It was coyote poop. AND it had hair in it!”

“Gross! You looked close enough to see hair?”

“Yeah….it must have eaten a rabbit.”

Student Quote of the Week: Rude Bunnies


“Today we went on a field trip to the outdoor learning center!”

“Wow, that’s great! Was it fun?”

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun. We saw this REALLY fat bunny there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! It was this wide and this long and its head was this big!”

“Oh, my! That is big.”

“Annnd, the bunny peed right in front of us! It was really gross.”

“Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go.”

“Sure, but not in front of a bunch of people!”

“Ah…Yep. You’re right. That was pretty rude of it.”

“It was a really rude bunny.”

Student Quote of the Week: Heartfelt Prayer


This week’s gem is from one of my Sunday School students, who eagerly volunteered to pray in class:

“Dear Lord, thank you so, so, so much for this beautiful day you’ve given us. Thank you for our church. Thank you for my Sunday School class. Please heal my great grandma’s neck, and help her to feel better. I pray for Mr. [X]. Please heal his body, but if he dies, please take his soul to heaven. And bless my Sunday School teacher, and when she dies please take her soul to heaven too, and all of her family. And when I die, please take my soul to heaven.”

By this time, I was so touched by her heartfelt and sincere prayer that I was trying very hard not to tear up. Then she continued, with the same level of sincerity:

“And Lord, please give my daddy lots of money so he can bring home pizza. Also, please let my sister and me get a bunk bed for our room. Amen.”

 

Student Quote of the Week: Psychic


Several times in one lesson, my student started doing exactly what I was about to ask her to do before I even said it. Impressed, I remark:

“Wow! You just keep reading my mind today!”

Student: “I like reading people’s minds. It’s fun.”

Me:

image

Student Quote of the Week: Bad Timing


A hilarious example of the mother coming in at the wrong end of a conversation during piano lessons:

“…You can get fake poop and fake urine, you know…”

Mom’s scandalized voice from the other room: “Did you just say fake urine?? I can’t think of a single scenario where that has anything to do with music lessons.”

Student’s superb response: “You never know, Mom. Maybe Bach needed fake urine at some point in his life.”

Mom: “Just get back to your lesson.”

Meanwhile, I’m trying not to die laughing.

 

P.S.~ The best part about this is probably the fact that the student was high school age. I rarely find myself involved in conversations about bodily fluids with students over the age of ten.